Oh, No, Get Me Rewrite!

Your Brico has sinned. He has broken at least two of his own commandments: don't edit if it's scrolled off the screen; and don't tweak until December.

Namely, at a key point in Chapter 4, the main character, Lena, accomplishes something important to her future. Her examiner, so to speak, rushes over to hug her for being so quick to catch on, and Lena feels aroused by the other woman. Except Lena has already demonstrated she's very much into men. Two days and two chapters later, it stuck out as false, just like a second thumb on YT's hand.

So, what to do? Remain true to the ideal of low expectations? Or sleep at night without wrong things running through Brico's aging head. Heh. I wimped out.

Ten minutes of word surgery makes Lena accept the hug, then flash on her latest man embracing her with lust in his heart, then pulling back to the realization it's a woman, a near-stranger, hugging her. Much better. That is, the general level of the writing meets YT's low expectations, but the sore thumb no longer throbs. YT will now repent at leisure.

Did your humble author not mention that the act of teleporting is only possible when the perpetrator has been drinking, and that completing the act fills the perpetrator with an impossible mix of awe and lust? So they do and it does, and this scene is along the lines of "the first hit is free, honey."

Word count after 9 days: 16, 449