From Too Lucky This Week, chapter 17. On most Fridays, Cass joins a group of college friends for "Drive Time," where the women drink and talk about men for an hour before starting their weekends. (Author's note: I'm posting this long piece because I had fun with it, and it shows what happens when the words really start to flow.)
Most of the time, Cass arrived late for Drive Time. Today she could go home, change and still show up on the early side. So she went into her apartment, sorted the mail, and picked out a comfortable outfit. The shell stayed, but she ditched the pants and blazer in favor of loose jeans and her fall windbreaker. There was no question about shoes. The new boots went right on. She’d see if her friends noticed. After all, they noticed things much better than most men.
Cass walked into the Home Place ten minutes early. At twenty past five on a Friday, the Place was nearly empty. The crowds would come fast close to six, but for now, the bar was clean, well-lit and blessedly quiet. Cass looked over at the Drive Time regular table. Sophie was already sitting there.
Cass walked up. “Zosia, jak sie masz?”
Sophie answered, “Kasia, w porzadku!”
They laughed at their ritual greeting. Neither woman remembered much Polish from their school years, but they said it out of solidarity with the “old town,” the working class suburb of Warren, in Michigan. Sometimes, when they wandered up Milwaukee Avenue, old people would speak to them in Polish, and one or the other would have to remember how to say they really didn’t speak it.
When the waitress appeared, Cass ordered a white zinfandel. Sophie ordered the same, saying, “We’ve got to be able to drive home.” The women giggled. That, of course was the joke. None of the Drive Time women actually drove during the week. They relaxed at the Home Place while a million commuters fought the traffic home to Schaumburg or wherever.
Just as their drinks arrived, Lalita and Martha walked up to the table. They’d have the same. They settled into the round booth. Martha said, “Let’s talk about men! Lalita has something to say.”
Sophie said, “Not yet. We can’t talk about men without Jenna. She’ll have the best story, as usual.”
“I’m not so sure. We have two weeks’ worth of men to catch up on, and Lalita here is in the running.”
But they waited, chatting instead about putting away fall clothes, the problems finding parking for the cars they didn’t commute in, and other chitchat. Martha and Lalita had gone back to Kalamazoo the previous weekend, so Drive Time did not have a quorum last week.
Martha said, “Actually, Jack seems to have brought out the better side of Liz. He cares a lot for her, and she’s given up calculating all the angles in every situation. You might even like her now, Sophie.”
Sophie snorted in disbelief, saying, “Next time I’m in Kalamazoo…” She had not been back since graduation.
Jenna Denny walked in then, flagged down a waitress and ordered a scotch, straight up. She sat down next to Sophie, saying, “Where’s Petra?”
Sophie answered, “Probably stuck on the El. You know we never all get here within ten minutes of starting time. Give her a break.”
Jenna held up her glass and said, “Let’s talk about men!” Now they had enough members to start. The four other women held up their glasses and toasted, “Let’s talk about men!” A couple of men at the bar looked on, fascinated. Jenna said, “Okay, around the table now. Martha, you first.”
Martha said, “I thought about my men over the weekend. I chose Terry. The other women piped up with “Right on!” and “Good for you.” Martha dragged people along with her enthusiasm, and inevitably found the men she was interested in couldn’t keep up. She said, “Bill just couldn’t keep up. It’s the story of my life. Then Terry showed up for a canoe outing, and we got paired up. He said he was okay at canoeing, so I just sort of took over, but after a couple of hours he got upset when I didn’t switch the back seat with him.” The women smiled. They’d heard this story before, but it was funny every time. “I told him I didn’t know if he could handle the current in the next section. So when we got to the fast water, he waited until I made a reach, then he did something I still don’t understand, and we flipped around in the current. I hadn’t figured out how to recover when there he was, now he was the rear seat, he had us under control, and I was facing backwards! I didn’t know whether to hate the guy or congratulate him for such a slick move. But I saw he knew what he was doing and let him drive. By the time we got to the takeout we were both laughing.”
Jenna said, “But we’ve heard this part.”
Martha said, “Oh, but you know he did it to me rollerblading, too. Tenth of October, probably the last good skating day of the year. I went out skating in Lincoln Park, and here he was coming the other direction. He saw me and turned around so we could skate together. He had what looked like sloppy form, so I turned backward and took his arms to get him to go in a straighter line. And do you know what that sneaky bastard did? He did some kind of dance step, like he was waltzing with me, and suddenly he was the one leading, going backward, and pulling me along! I haven’t figured out how he did that one, either!”
All the women laughed at Martha getting her comeuppance. Even Martha laughed, saying, “Every time I try too hard to go off in the direction I want to go, he does something sneaky to turn me around. And I never see it coming! He doesn’t try to keep up with me, he just bends me in his direction. So this is something I’m actually starting to enjoy. Over the weekend I thought about the difference between Terry and Bill. Poor Bill, he’s a nice guy, but he can only run after me. I let him down easy on Monday night, and you know what? I think he was relieved.”
More laughs echoed around the table. Petra appeared in the crowd of people flooding through the door. She sat down all the way around the table from Jenna, completing the group of six. Petra saw the zinfandel, and ordered herself a glass. Cass and Lalita were ready for their second glasses of wine.
When Petra was settled, Jenna said, “Let’s go back to the beginning of the circle. Petra, you’re next.”
Petra said, “Wait, I’ve got to get my story straight!” More laughter.
Martha said, “No, let Lalita go next.”
Lalita said, “I got fixed up by my parents.” The other women groaned. Lalita’s parents were educated, had become American citizens, but still held old-fashioned Indian ideas about many things. Lalita had adopted mainstream habits in Chicago, ones she mostly didn’t tell her parents about.
She said, “Wait! It gets really good. Martha came home with me for the weekend, and of course my mother and auntie were happy to see her. But they were acting a little strange, like they were waiting for something. Well, of course my auntie took Martha off into the kitchen…”
Petra cut in, “So, do you have some good new recipe to make?”
Martha said, “Wait ‘til you taste my chicken vindaloo. But let Lita tell her story.”
Lalita picked up the thread. “Martha was off cooking, and I don’t know how she gets it when I don’t. My dad comes over and starts talking about my responsibilities as a proper young woman.” Here she imitated the singsong accent that her father had never overcome. “I figured that he was getting impatient for me to marry, no matter how often I told him that even at thirty I’d still be a catch. I mean, I don’t tell him all I do here, but I’m still a respectable woman! But he just said, ‘Think on your responsibilities for the next few days.’ Little did I imagine…”
Martha said, “the Professor is smarter than we thought about his darling daughter.”
Lalita said, “On Saturday night we had the Krishnamurthys come over. Everyone made a big fuss over the chicken, and I think they were scandalized when my auntie said the white girl had made it. But Auntie just said she wanted a daughter, and Martha was doing just fine. Well, who could argue with my dotty old auntie, especially when Martha has some talent for spices.”
Martha said, “You’re avoiding the subject.”
Lalita said, “Well, okay. The Krishnamurthy family brought along their son Rajiv. My folks and his folks figured that since we both lived in Illinois, and we got along as kids, that we should think about marriage.”
Cass said “What?!” Jenna said, “Are they nuts?”
Lalita answered, “No, they’re traditional. They all had arranged marriages back then, and they think American women are scandalous, the way they sleep around.”
Martha said, “Your father takes TV shows way too seriously.”
Lalita said, “Anyway, we had a good dinner, and afterward the dads went off to drink brandy. The women went off into the kitchen, Martha too. So that left Rajiv and me alone to talk. Well, not so alone. Every three minutes someone would pop out of the kitchen, looking for some dish to clear from the table. And when we moved to the couch, both dads could watch us.”
Cass said, “That sounds like a terrible way to meet some man. Did you even like him?”
Lalita said, “That’s the funny part. We joked about our families being so old-fashioned. Then I noticed he was respectful to his elders and to me. He really loves his work. He’s a biochemist somewhere out near Wheaton, so he’d be quite a catch. It was just funny. We knew each other in the second grade, when we were seven. After so many years, he’s turned out quite nicely. I like his words, and his voice, and the way he holds his hands. At the end of the evening, we stood together and said we’d see each other back in Chicago. I think this pleased all the parents to no end. I saw him out, and found out he’s not straitlaced, either. He offered me a ride back to the city. Well, of course I said no.” Lalita flashed a big smile, pleased with herself.
The women groaned. Jenna said, “Cute guy, you’re obviously attracted to him. And he offered you a ride back where you could get better acquainted. Why didn’t you take it?”
Lalita said, “The parents would be scandalized! An unmarried woman traveling alone with an unmarried man? No, I couldn’t do that to them.”
The table went silent. Cass could see they were all thinking some of Lalita’s mother and dad had rubbed off on her. Sophie said, “Dummy.”
“What? I had to be proper.”
“Lita… Martha was with you, your honorary cousin in your parents’ eyes. Your chaperone. Or did they think Rajiv’d be improper with both of you at once?”
Lalita looked crestfallen. “Sophie, ohhhh. You’re right. I just wasn’t thinking straight.”
Martha said, “I would have been so quiet in the back seat, you wouldn’t know I was there.”
Lalita said, “Well, no matter, he’s coming to see me this weekend. We have a couple of restaurants picked out, a play and a movie, and he’s got a hotel room.” The women groaned again. Lalita said, “What? We’re being bloody proper about this, and I don’t care what you think. If something is to be, it will happen regardless. Then I’ll think of doing things I won’t tell my parents about. But he’s interested, too, or else he wouldn’t have agreed so easily.”
Petra said, “Lita, I swear I hear your father talking. Someday I hope to understand you.”
Lalita said, “At the wedding you’ll understand.” This brought more laughs.
Jenna said, “Okay, Petra, got your story straight yet?” After a little drink, they were loosening up.
Petra said, “Oh, I’ve just been doing a little of this, a little of that.”
Sophie said, “What’s his name?”
“Name? What do you think is going on?”
Lalita said, “What’s his name?” She was teasing, drawing out the last word.
“Name? Name. Well, it might be Mike, or it might be Jason, or it might be Leif.”
Jenna said, “Or it might be all three!”
Petra did not answer for a beat, then longer. The other five burst out laughing, punctuated with cries of “No!”
Petra said, “I swear, when it comes to men, you all talk too much and do to little. Except for Lalita, of course, who thinks that talking and doing are the same thing.”
Lalita said, “You’d be surprised…”
Petra shot back, “Yes, I would!”
Jenna said, “Okay, Leif is a new name.”
Petra said, “He’s on assignment here for a year, six foot fourteen and a natural blond, has a great sense of humor, and he’s a good dancer.” She stopped, smiling.
This was the game they played every week. For all they knew, Petra slept with a different man every night, but she cheerfully refused to tell more than a tidbit at a time.
Jenna said, “Sounds like Mike or Jason will be losing out.”
Petra said, “Or both. Leif is being very good to me.”
Cass said, “So Leif must be Superman, or else you’re slowing down, Petra. Well, I have a toast.” Cass lifted her glass. “To Petra and only one man, a real first!”
Four of the women chimed in, “Petra and only one man!” Petra just took a sip of her wine and smiled.
Jenna said, “Okay, Cass next.”
Sophie said, “Hey, Jenna, maybe we should give Cass a pass this week. Men have been pretty rough on her lately.”
Cass said, “No, Zosia, that’s okay. If I talk about it maybe I’ll get over it faster. Or him. A week ago Thursday, Bob dumped me. It came out of the blue – he said I wasn’t ambitious enough for him, whatever that means. Then I found out Monday that he was jumping to another company, and he never told me about it. So he fooled me. Bob’s a bastard!”
The others toasted that: “Bob’s a bastard!”
Cass said, “I feel a little better about it now. I’m angry I wasted so much time with him, when he couldn’t be honest with me. But it’s over.”
Sophie said, “Oh, Cass, how rotten!”
Cass said, “But the same weekend, I met a man. I took him home, and he got me breakfast.”
Jenna said, “Wait a minute. Lita gets all proper on us, and you get all easy. What are they putting in the water?”
“Well, it wasn’t what you think at all. I went along with my friend to this science fiction convention…”
Martha cut in, “Did they have tinfoil hats?”
“No, no! This guy did something really romantic for my best friend June, and somehow I wound up shoe shopping with his roommate.”
Jenna said, “And you think he’s straight?”
Cass said, “More like straight arrow, at least for me. He picked out these great boots for me, but he’s definitely all AC and no DC. He’s this actuary who probably works a couple of blocks from me.”
Petra said, “You mean a green eyeshade type?”
“Well, yeah, he loves statistics, but he’s also really musical. Let me tell the story, here. So my friend and his roommate just didn’t bother with the flirting part of the relationship, and I wound up giving him a ride from the back of beyond back into the city. And to return the favor of the ride, he bought me a good breakfast at 2 A.M.”
Jenna said, “And then you took him home?”
“Yes, to his apartment. And we slept about two miles apart.”
Jenna said, “So not much happened. Why are you telling us this?”
“Because Ryan is so much more interesting than Bob. Look, I told him nothing was happening because I was abstaining from men for a while, and he respected that.”
Sophie said, “So when are you seeing him again?”
“Look the romance is between my friend and his roommate. I don’t know if I’ll see him any time soon.”
The other women said in unison, “Why not?”
Cass had no answer. But why not. The whole big upset was about Bob, and all I want to talk about is Ryan.
Seeing she would get no more from Cass, Jenna turned to Sophie. “Okay, so what does our Catholic girl have to say?”
Cass knew Sophie hated that epithet, but only a brief flash crossed her face. Sophie said, “Well, it would have to be Matthew, Mark, John and Luke, wouldn’t it? No, wait. John wasn’t big on women.”
Jenna said, “Okay, sorry, Sophie. But you still owe us a man story.”
Sophie said, “Well, I wasn’t kidding about Matthew. I think Matt’s going to propose. He’s hinting around about my vacation days next year, and lately he’s really tender in bed. He’s building up to something big. I can see it in his face.”
Martha said, “Good for him! We’ll have two weddings next year. Just don’t do it the same weekend as Lalita!” The women had been laughing with each other, but now they all smiled at Sophie.
Sophie said, “But, hey, even when I’m married you have to tell me about other men!”
There seemed to be little else Sophie could say. Martha started drumming on the table, chanting “Big finish! Big finish!” Soon the others joined the chant.
Jenna laughed. “Okay, okay! You know I had to go to Phoenix for a couple of days. So on the flight back on Friday, I sat in the window seat, and this really nice guy was sitting in the aisle seat. We got to talking, and I saw he was doing a little scanning. Well, I scanned right back. I could tell he worked out. He wasn’t afraid of the once-over. He talked about his job a little. He’s a pharmaceutical salesman who was coming in for the convention this week. He was real relaxed telling me about himself, like it wasn’t the most important thing in his life, and he understood what a routing expediter was. He said, ‘Oh, you choose a destination for the rail car full of watermelons when it’s still passing through Utah.’ I said, ‘More like Nebraska or South Dakota.’ But he got it.”
Petra said, “You see what I meant? All talk!”
Jenna said, “I’m getting to the part you’ll like. So he sized me up, I sized him up, both of us matter of fact, and I decided, why not? So I was just direct with him. I said, ‘I want you in my bed for a couple of days.’ He said, ‘Two things. First, we introduce ourselves properly, and second, I’m on duty starting Sunday night.’ So I thought it over, and said, ‘My name is Jenna Denny.’”
Cass said, “Whoa, just as cool as you about the opposite sex, wasn’t he?”
Jenna said, “He said his name was Steve Evans, then we just started chatting again. Easiest hookup I made all year. He was the same way in the car coming from O’Hare. He wanted to talk about the Chicago weather, and how he had to go up in the mountains to feel cold like ours. He was amazed by how much water we used. I just said, ‘When we get to my place, I want you to look out the front window.’ Of course, he was polite and did that, just stared out at Lake Michigan. Then I got his attention - I ripped his clothes off.”
Martha said, “Have we got to the good part yet?”
Jenna said, “Oh, the good part started right about then. He didn’t see his clothes or the front window until about three on Sunday afternoon. What the hell, my refrigerator was stocked, my place was clean, so we didn’t have to get dressed. He was up to it, too. Most men need their pants after the first half a day. Steve just decided he was going to hold up his end of the bargain. He was perfectly nice about the whole thing, too, saying he enjoyed the whole two days and nights. I even gave him a ride down to his hotel. He was like a little kid going down the drive, staring like he couldn’t believe you couldn’t see the other side of the lake. And then he kissed me like he wouldn’t have another woman for a year. And he won’t, not like me, not until the next convention.”
Lalita said, “And once again, the winner, the most decadent, the champion is Jenna!”
Jenna said, “I take that as a compliment.” The women around the table dissolved in laughter.
After the long round of stories, the women had run out of things to say. Cass felt intoxicated from the merriment, with help from the wine. Looking around the table, she saw they all had something left in their glasses. So Cass decided to end Drive Time while they were still all in such a good mood. Cass raised her glass, saying, “I think we all know what should come next.” The table grew silent.
Jenna said, “Cass, you had both a low point and a high point, so tonight you should lead.” The others said, “Yes!” and “Right on!”
Cass said, “Then, a toast. Jobs are cheap, men are expensive, but good friends are treasures beyond price.”
The others said, “Treasures beyond price!” They all drained their glasses.
